That’s a Wrap!

As Tony Curtis said, “Arrividerci, Baby!” It’s a fitting way to say good by to this amazing city and wrap up our trip. Besides which Tony Curtis and I have so much in common, although I can’t remember right now exactly how (except that his daughter and I both like yogurt with fiber.) Tomorrow early in the morning we board AirAmbien to take us back to California. I’ve upgraded our seats to the Valium Class section and I look forward to a comfortable, though not memorable ride home. I won’t spend this section of the blog recapping all we’ve done, from landing in Paris, and then traveling with Molly through Venice, Florence, and Umbria, nor will I recap the last two weeks we spent back in Tuscany. It’s all here in the previous blogs. But we head back with our suitcases a little fuller, now containing leather gloves, olive oil, cheeses, frankincense, and myrrh, along with a new rug/coat handpicked by the Fabulous Miss K.

I can’t say I’m anxious to return but I’m afraid the signs are clear that it is time to head back. The weather has turned really, really cold, unlike every tourist poster you’ve ever seen of Italy. Trust me, no one is wearing a bikini or heading to the isle of Lido or Capri. I also know that I’m ready to return because:

  • Yesterday I ordered a pizza with fungi, provolone, and paparazzi.
  • We went to the Borghese gallery yesterday and I thought this was a statue of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee.
  • 20131128-101528.jpg
    It turns out it was one of the Borghese Cardinals. By the way, the Borghese Galleria (or as we neo-Romans call it, the Borgy) has the worlds best collection of Carravagios, Caramelos, and Nougatis outside of the Holy See’s.

  • I decided to skip the opera and instead I bought tickets to a “Burlusconi Party.”
  • Actually yesterday thousands in Rome showed up at a rally for him before he goes off to jail. Many of the people in attendance were over 17.

  • At the Borghese Gallery yesterday the Fabulous Miss K spotted this picture:
  • 20131128-101936.jpg
    Two hours later I came back to get her and told her it was time to go.

  • Meanwhile I saw this picture and all I could think about is “Why the hat?”
  • I later learned this painting was the inspiration for the song “You Can Leave Your Hat On”


  • Two days ago I told the waitress to skip the Buccatini, Tagliatele, Linguine, and Capellini, and the Orzo. “Just bring me a bowl of Spaghetti-Os and a side of Rice-A-Roni.
  • At the art galleries, surrounded by paintings of naked ladies, I kept making up nicknames for Titian or Tiziano as they call him here. Then I’d start giggling and they finally asked me to just leave.
  • When I dropped in a local “Retirement Support Group” I finally met Benedict. It turns out he’s now spending most of his time flying toy helicopters on the Vatican grounds and brushing up his resumé
  • OK, so the signs are on the wall, it’s time to say good by. It’s Thanksgiving and Chanukah and I hope you’re all enjoying your day. I’m not sure yet what else we’ll do. Among other things I’m thankful for all of you that have been taking the time to read these epistles and encouraged me to go on. I’m not sure what form the blog will take when I return, but please do check back. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.


    4 thoughts on “That’s a Wrap!

    1. Don’t stop. I will need a fix at least weekly. Thank you, Joel for the way you make me see the funny in everything. I love you.

    2. ditto gmabrown. except maybe a monthly fix for me. or even yearly is fine. but definitely funny. that is non-negotiable. look forward to catching up in person…

    3. You need to keep at it…love the details, pics, many laughs at my desk…yes, who cares that I’m not “officially” working…I look busy. You have inspired me to make travel plans for Italy, I’m now answering the phone “Pronto!” I’ll be sending you a bill.

    4. the first guy at the Borghese is doing yoga!

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