So Long Siena—EuroHygiene Conquered

We left Siena after a brief three days. The weather turned colder and the Fabulous Miss K came down with some sort of EuroBug that laid her up. It wasn’t pretty. On the other hand Siena itself was quite beautiful. It’s a city with a lot of character that goes with its beauty. Here’s the view from hotel window.

20131125-175505.jpg We had a chance to visit their church and yes, we were wowed once again. This clearly rivals the Duomo in Florence and gets my vote for the coveted Best Ceiling-Floor-Door-Stone People and Animals Jumping Off the Wall-Combo Award because the entire floor is a never ending mosaic.

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I was also really thrilled when I found out that they’d put a really nice puppet theater right in the middle of the church to attract children into the flock.

20131125-181646.jpg Karen says its a Confessional where you tell the priest how you sin (she knows because she was a Catholic). If that’s true I want to congratulate all the people who live in Siena because they must be really, really good. There was no line at all.

Before I discuss Rome I wanted to answer a couple of questions that have arisen. First off, NO—there’re will be no photos of the Fabulous Miss K in her new coat. We have learned a custom from our friends in Milan and we’ll be postponing any viewings of the new coat until Fashion Week arrives in Santa Rosa next month. You can expect to see it on the runway then, and no sooner. Besides we have to wait until certain parts of the coat are really dead and US customs will have to approve it as a non-agricultural item.
Second, I was disappointed to learn that there actually was no part of Siena that got burnt. This is one of those urban myths that rational people should put to rest. Personally I was almost as disappointed as when I visited Victoria in British Columbia and found out there were no secrets there.

So we jumped the next outbound train and sped on down to Rome. Our last stop. We got in late in the afternoon, chilled out in our new hotel and went out to dinner. There’s a great little restaurant down the block and I was famished. I won’t bore you with what I ordered but just know that I am a happy man and I dreamt well. Today we toured around and visited the Colosseum, the Forum, Palatine Hill, etc. They have a really old history that goes back before 1776 which is when I thought history started. Hats off to them for being so damned old!

Something, however has come up that I need to weigh in on. When I was growing up it was inferred that somehow Europeans didn’t adhere to the same hygiene standards as we Americans. I don’t know if this is true. I actually doubt it. But even it were true I want to report that they have clearly leapt years ahead of us now in terms of hygiene. To begin with, in addition to the sink and toilet they have the bidet. I’m not even going to mention whatever that’s about. Instead, take a look at this Euroshower in our hotel room. It is remarkable.

20131125-182725.jpg This unit has more ways to get you clean than a carwash. If you look carefully you’ll notice the following:

  • A “regular” American style shower head up top
  • A detachable hand-held spritzer for “individualizing” the water flow
  • Eight (count em–four on each side) tiny little jet nozzles on the side for targeting that important mid-body section
  • A mysterious down spout under the seat that I can’t figure out what its for unless you just want to wash your feet or get down on all-fours and get washed like a poodle
  • All of this is controlled by a joy-stick in the middle (the only one that actually ever lived up to its name.) If you spin this around while you’re standing there the water can come at you from any direction. It’s like shower version of wheel of Fortune.
  • There are two places to put soap, razors, shampoo and other undefined European products on
  • There’s a chair built in case the whole shower thing becomes too tiring and you need a rest, but don’t want to dry off yet
  • This thing is like a rocket ship. There’s only one problem with it. There’s no space to stand. Once you get in, it is so cramped that you can’t turn around. The rounded doors close in front of you and all you can do is look out. Forget about raising your arms. I feel like I’m a Ken Doll sitting in my box on the toy store shelf waiting for someone to buy me and a bunch of clothes. I haven’t asked the Fabulous Miss K if she feels like Barbie. Anyway, these Europeans should be proud of themselves for creating this little unit.
    We only have three more days left (I figure about 15 meals).

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    2 thoughts on “So Long Siena—EuroHygiene Conquered

    1. I must admit you look FABULOUSLY clean! I hope Miss K is feeling better-although I must say that I am deeply disappointed regarding your decision to hold off on the showing of the coat. I think these things must be shown in their full context (i.e. in Italy you noob). I’ll try not to blame you too much, I do realize that you are from Santa Rosa which makes your fashion exposure rather limited. Just a reminder, it’s not too late to change your plane reservations to come home in time for Thanksgiving. I for one would give thanks for that. Amen.

    2. That shower looks like a time machine out of Dr. Who. Beam me up, Scotty! Has your Italian improved as a result of this lengthy stay? La douche e molto picolo per meo bodeo grosso! Tell THAT to the front desk!

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